trying really hard to avoid a big bpd moment. Really don’t need that today. Spent most of yesterday in heartache and wanting to curl up and die or pass out and never wake up. This shit needs to give me a break. Felt really good last mon, almost as good tue, then like shit from wed since. Eye appt wed was dreading, and even the supposed “good news” they gave me didn’t do shit. According to them measuring, my eyesight has improved in my left eye … And my right eye was having a good day at 20/70 instead of 20/80 or whatevrthefuck it usually is.

My eyesight has improved? You sure as shit could fool me. I haven’t even noticed. In fact, what i DID notice is that it seems worse (piece of paper held a foot away). My whole attitude this week has been “fuck this”. As in … Life. Life as i know it, my life, etc.

But befoe this spirals, ending this.

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